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If Looks Could Kill (released in the United Kingdom as Teen Agent) is a 1991 American action comedy film directed by William Dear and starring Richard Grieco.

If Looks Could Kill
Directed byWilliam Dear
Produced byNeil Meron
Craig Zadan
Screenplay byDarren Star
Story byFred Dekker
Starring
  • Richard Grieco
  • Linda Hunt
  • Roger Rees
  • Robin Bartlett
  • Gabrielle Anwar
Music byDavid Foster
CinematographyDouglas Milsome
Edited byJohn F. Link
Distributed byWarner Bros.
(Time Warner)
Release date
  • March 15, 1991 (1991-03-15)
Running time
88 minutes
CountryUnited States
LanguageEnglish
Box office$7.8 million

Screenplay

Eighteen-year-old Michael Corben (Richard Grieco) of Detroit, Michigan, is a slacker. Rather than attending his high school French class, he spends all of his time drinking and partying, until come graduation when all of his debauchery catches up to him and he learns that he cannot graduate without a French credit. He has only one more chance to obtain the credit: the French teacher, Mrs. Grober (Robin Bartlett), and the French Club are headed to France for summer school, and Michael must accompany them and participate if he wants to graduate next summer.

However, at the airport, a CIA agent also named Michael Corben (David McIlwraith) who is on his way to France as well, is killed by the assassin Ilsa Grunt (Linda Hunt), henchwoman and surrogate mother of the villainous Augustus Steranko (Roger Rees) who seeks to steal all of the gold in Europe and use it to mint his own coins under the guise of a common currency. Because important details about the agent's identity (including his actual age) have been kept meticulously secret, Michael is mistaken for the CIA agent. He is inexplicably boarded first class on his flight to Paris, and upon arrival is whisked away by British Intelligence.

The late Agent Corben's mission had been to protect Augustus Steranko, who (being not suspected to be evil) has been murdering European finance ministers as part of his plan. After some efforts to explain that he isn't the Corben they think he is, Michael agrees to play along once it becomes apparent that he will be allowed to utilize high-tech gadgets, including X-ray glasses, exploding chewing gum and L.A. Gear sneakers with suction cups, as well as a Lotus Esprit. At first, he enjoys the thrilling adventures the life of a spy provides, but begins to rethink his decision once his life begins being endangered by Steranko's deadly assassins, including Zigesfeld (Tom Rack), a henchman with a prosthetic gold hand, and Areola Canasta (Carole Davis), who kills her victims using her poisonous pet scorpion.

In the meantime, Steranko captures Michael's teacher and classmates and holds them all hostage at his remote castle stronghold, and now Michael teams up with a girl his own age named Mariska (Gabrielle Anwar), the daughter of Agent Blade (Roger Daltrey) who was murdered by Steranko and his gang, to bring the villains down and save his friends as well as all of Europe's gold. Despite being briefly captured and imprisoned by Steranko's men, Michael escapes, rescues Mrs. Grober and his friends, and battles and defeats Zigesfeld.

Steranko, his duplicitous nature exposed by Michael, kidnaps Mariska and attempts to escape with his gold in his Eurocopter Ecureuil helicopter. Michael manages to rescue Mariska, and Steranko is subsequently killed when he falls out of the helicopter, and it and the onboard gold supply both drop on him. Afterwards, Mrs. Grober agrees to give Michael the French credit.

  • Richard Grieco as Michael Corben
  • Linda Hunt as Ilsa Grunt
  • Roger Rees as Augustus Steranko, a leader of European Economic Community.
  • Robin Bartlett as Patricia Grober
  • Gabrielle Anwar as Mariska Blade
  • Geraldine James as Vendetta Galante
  • Michael Siberry as Derek Richardson
  • Tom Rack as Zigesfeld
  • Carole Davis as Areola Canasta
  • Frederick Coffin as Lieutenant Colonel Larabee
  • Roger Daltrey as Blade
  • Oliver Dear as Kent
  • Cynthia Preston as Melissa Tyler
  • Michael Sinelnikoff as Haywood
  • Travis Swords as Kelly
  • Gerry Mendicino as Herb Corben
  • Fiona Reid as Marge Corben
  • Michael Vinokur as Brad Corben
  • David McIlwraith as Agent Michael Corben
  • Gene Mack as Agent Kramer
  • Jacques Tourangeau as Jacques Lefevre
If Looks Could Kill
Soundtrack album by various artists
ReleasedMarch 15, 1991
Recorded1990

If Looks Could Kill opened in 11th place for $2.2 million in the US. It grossed $7.8 million at the end of its US theatrical run. Roger Ebert of Chicago Sun-Times gave the film 3 out of 4 stars, saying that he initially thought it a bad film. Eventually, he decided the film's over-the-top goofiness was intentional and saw it as a subversion of the spy film formula rather than an incompetent ripoff. Variety's review wrote that it "spoofs the James Bond formula in tiresome fashion". Rita Kempley of The Washington Post called it "insipid, tiresome and full of gross kids". She also criticized the violence, which she said was disturbing in a film marketed to the youth demographic. On Rotten Tomatoes, the film has a 29% approval rating and a 3.5/10 average score based on seven reviews.

Year Award Category Nominee Result ref
1992 18th Saturn Awards Best Fantasy Film
If Looks Could Kill
Nominated
Best Supporting Actress
Robin Bartlett
Nominated
Best Director
William Dear
Nominated

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